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Poetry & Esseys

Writing poems and short essays has always been a part of my creative process. 

I write poems that stand alone, but often, my poems inspire a painting and vice versa. 

Broken

Everything is broken

History is repeating

What can I do?

There is no way out

I just want to scream

Betrayed

Can’t breathe

I’m falling

Who will catch me?

There is no use of me crying

It won’t change anything

I’ve fallen to my knees

And they are bloodied

My hands are shaking

Can’t hold on

Ania Milo

October 20, 2020

What have I done?

There is nothing left

Where do I go from here?

I don’t trust myself

So many mistakes

My eyes were closed

They didn’t want to see

Now wide opened

Life flooding in

Consuming everything

Truth

Pain

Loss

End

I weep

Does life go on?

 

A Milo Mountains in Orange
My Soul on Fire
 
Raging with the Silent  
Screams of the Lonely Child  
  
It Burns with the Flames  
Stoked by Fears from Long Ago  
  
It Cries out for the Tender Moments  
Lost to Rage  
  
Born of Pain, It Burns  
Consuming Everything  
  
It’s Hungry tongues licking, devouring  
Life Itself  
  
When the Soul burns with Rage  
It sees Nothing else, It feels Nothing more    
When the Soul feeds on Pain  
It Dies. 

Accompanying drawing by A. Milo titled “Soul on Fire” © 2007 | This work © 2009 
 My Soul On Fire

Unapologetically Me! 

In an instant, it all became just noise.

 

Words that used to cut my soul into pieces, the ones that ripped my heart out then spat on it, meant nothing. The words that made me feel ashamed, guilty, incomplete, stupid, crazy, wrong, bad, unwanted, unloved, disrespected and dismissed, in an instant, became just noise.

 

It was as if a door softly opened, the threshold moved quietly past me than closed behind me forever.

 

I felt, I knew I was done fighting for us, for you and for me. The anger I carried in my body all these years disappeared and I felt at peace. My mind, my heart and my soul had finally let go of it all….

 

With the anger, the pain of being rejected, disrespected, belittled, patronized, seen as crazy and out of control, abandoned and betrayed by the people whom I loved and trusted the most, changed to quiet acceptance because I finally understood that I have no control over other people's’ destiny, only my own. I was finally at peace with myself and all those who had so greatly disappointed me.

 

I no longer had the need to understand the reasons behind what made those closest to me so cold, distant, withdrawn, cruel, demanding, withholding of love, making me beg or pay for their acceptance and understanding. Nor did I feel the need to help them understand and come to accept their own personal demons that lurk in the dark shadows of their minds and souls.

 

I no longer felt the overwhelming need to be accepted, loved, understood and cherished by people incapable of loving me the way I need to be loved.


From the moment I made the decision to let go, I gave myself permission to be the magnificent woman that I am; the kind of woman who is not afraid to live her life emerged in truth, love and beauty. I accepted that I was born to shine and be unapologetically and fiercely me!

 

I was no longer fighting or hiding my depression, my anxiety, my panic attacks, my insecurities and my Bipolar disorder. I celebrate them! I became the wonderful person because of all those things.

 

Every experience, every person, every hurt, rejection, abandonment, betrayal and loss are but chapters in my journey to figure out my path in this world, my role and my destiny…..
 

Ania Milo, 2018

Tears
The Truth

You Look into my Eyes
And You think You see
What’s inside of Me
 
You Listen to my Laughter
And You think You Hear
What my Heart is Whispering
 
You Walk along with Me
And You think you Know
Where My Path is leading Me
 
You See Me Live My Life

And You think You Understand
What My Life is All about
 
Look Deeper
Listen Harder

Walk Longer
Watch Closer
 
And You might just See
What Is Truly Inside of Me!


 
Accompanying drawing by
A
. Milo titled “The Truth” © 2009 |This work © 2009
The Truth
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